Online casino players around the US are rejoicing on Tuesday because the US government has decided to give away free money to them. The US will give away money obtained by seizing over $45 million seized from BetOnSports.com founder, Gary Kaplan.

In addition to the free money, the US government is also rumored to be giving away automobiles, mortgage refinancing, and health care, to anyone in the US that can show proof that they have an online gambling account.

The catch? There is none, except for the fact that anyone that comes forward to claim the free goods and money risks prosecution. On yeah, a real doozy of a trade-off. Forget about reality television, this is the ultimate relaity game show, you against the US government.

Several online gamblers have already filed the paperwork necessary to receive their portion of the BetOnSports money. Ironically, one person, Carl Bradson, claims that since he hit submit to file the paperwork, a mysterious helicopter has been floowing him around. Anot

her player who also tried to receive the funds, complained that he heard a humming noise everytime he walkeinto his s house. It was later revealed, however, that this guy just had a cold.

One lady, speaking anonymously, because, hell, this is the government, said that since she filed her request for funds she won at BetOnSports, she hasive times h had her door knocked on by representatives of the Republican National Committee. When she told them that they were no longer in power, and could not prosecute her for gambling online, it is reported that they left her house mumbling under their breath.